I recently had an email, via the Twitter site, questioning me on my diagnosis and recovery from Stage IV cancer. I have always said that if I can help someone out from what I went through, it was all worth it. And this is exactly why I am sharing this story with all of you! The below text is my answer to this frightened gentleman from Hungary, just diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkins Lymphoma….A diagnosis I heard 18 years ago. Along with being happy to offer any support, prayer and advice I can to Norbert, I am amazed at how far and wide the internet reaches. I only wish I would have had the option of the internet when I was experiencing the very same thing.
My diagnosis was non-sclerosing asymptomatic Hodgkins Lymphoma, (stage IV as you know) My main tumor was mediastinal (under the breast bone) and very large…can’t remember the exact size but it was fist size so probably about 6 inches? I also had lymph node involvement in my neck..nothing below the diaphragm. Bone marrow was clear and as far as I know, no other organ involvement but they didn’t have the PET scan back then so its hard to say where exactly all of the tumors were. CT scans do not show everything and that is all I had. I was treated with 6 months (12 rounds, one every 2 weeks) of AVBD (Adriamycin, Vincristine, Bleomycin, Doxyrubicin – if my memory serves me right!) and then 6 weeks of radiation treatments. No treatments after this initial set, I responded very well.
What my oncologist said was if you are going to have cancer, this is the type you want to get. It is very treatable and curable even in Stage IV. In fact, my father just finished his treatments for Stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Non Hodgkins, at least 18-years ago, was termed less treatable than Hodgkins) and is now in remission…treatments have come so far in the past 18 years.
I had excellent Doctors (Thank you Dr. Harris!) who never gave me any doubt that I would not be cured. I was 30 years old at the time with a 4-yr. old boy so I had lots of reasons to live. I truly believe in and stress the power of positive thinking and prayer. Your body responds as you tell it to. An excellent book to read is which explains this principle is “Love, Medicine and Miracles” by Dr. Bernie Siegel. It speaks of visualization, and the power of positive thinking. I have given many of these books to friends that are diagnosed with cancer.
Going through treatments: Now this will sound strange but many visualize and pick their own scenario…My dad used “pac-men” from the old video games! I would visualize the chemo as being men with hand sprayers spraying my tumors with acid. I would picture the tumors getting smaller, smoking and burning away. This visualization works as I could “measure” my tumor in my minds eye and it would be exactly that when I went in for my xrays. Towards the end I had a hard time visualizing my tumor….because it was gone! Think Positive, visualize healthy tissue in place of the tumor. Visualize the tumor shrinking and then disappearing….it works!
I’m not going to lie. Chemotherapy and radiation will not be a picnic but with the anti-nausea medication they have now, its sure not bad! My Dad never had a day of nausea throughout his treatments. I just had a few days of it towards the end but they didn’t have the “good stuff” back then like they do now! You will feel tired, you will lose your hair. That is not the end of the world as mine grew back thicker and extremely curly… Its finally calming down now as the grey sets in. You will have “chemo-brain” so don’t make any big decisions throughout this time….you may not remember them! There is alot from that time in my life that people tell me about and I don’t remember…now I just have senilty to claim as an excuse for forgetting things!
The hard part is right now. Not knowing what you are going to be facing as far as treatments and how you will tolerate these treatments is what is hard. Waiting for the tests to come back is hard. But once you can start DOING something, start your treatments and the way back to the healthy side of life, then it will become so much easier. Someone else with Hodgkins’ coached me a bit when I was first diagnosed said, “You will not believe how wonderful life is and how much better you feel when you get through this. You don’t realize how bad you were feeling until you start feeling better again.” My father backs up this statement 100%, he didn’t realize just how sick he was until he started feeling better.
The Power of Prayer: I have always felt this was my major turning point in my beating cancer…When you have your first treatment, they will probably hospitalize you for the first night. This is because from the first treatment, the tumor breaks up so fast, it could clog up your kidneys etc so they have to make sure you stay well hydrated (along with no severe side effects from the chemo) and keep the tumor cells flushed out out your system (through IV fluids). I was hospitalized that first night and I was scared. My old pastor (Thank you Pastor George Dahl!!) who had confirmed me many years before stopped in to visit. This was thankfully when the list of names on the hospital roster was open to clergy as he was with a different church than I belonged. We visited about the people from home, family and friends and then he asked if I wanted him to say a prayer….I agreed and he took my hand and started praying. I, being scared and emotional, cried but for the first time in my life really and truly and deeply opened my mind and heart to God. During the prayer, I felt a jolt pass through his hand into mine and up my arm…almost an electrical shock. From that point on, I never doubted that I would be cured. My main tumor after that first treatment was reduced in size by 50%, the Drs. were amazed!
The Healing Power of Laughter: My father claims fame to this treatment for cancer. A truly inspiring man with a gift for laughter, jokes, teasing and finding humor in almost anything; we laughed our way through his treatments and became closer and stronger as a family. I’m sure more than a few eyebrows were raised outside his infusion room on more than one occassion from the peals of laughter that escaped…we didn’t care! I have fond memories of our time spent in that little room and am so proud of the way he handled the cancer experience. Dad’s positive attitude rang through with the laughter we shared during a troubling time. “Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox
All in all….cancer is NOT the death sentence it used to be. Today, I know ALOT of Stage IV survivors of many different types of cancer, including Hodgkins. In fact, we have a “club”…unorganized and just joked about but its there and we are all alive and well!
Cancer is a life changing experience. My father now is a believer. It is a hard time but it changes your life, it teaches you what is important in life…not the material things but the little things like a sunrise, a sunset, a bird, a baby colt, a flower, and more importantly the hug of a friend. It teaches you who your true friends are – some people do not have the fortitude to stay with you through this experience…let them go as they are not worth hanging onto. Angels in the form of people you barely know will appear magically out of the woodwork and help you along the path and I hope that I am one of them. Cancer is just a mere roadbump in the journey of life…be brave and follow it and you will be amazed at where it will lead you. Keep your faith, friends and family close and most of all…”Never underestimate the power of positive thinking and prayer!” You are young and strong and you will make it through these hard times…and I promise you, you will not believe how wonderful life is when you start feeling better!
Join me, everyone, in a prayer for healing for all those undergoing the frightening times of cancer or any other life threatening illness, surgery or injury. And don’t forget to thank God for the little things in life that matter. Take care and God bless!