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August 2, 2010

Life is Good Today!

Filed under: All My Posts,Horse Talk,Humorous Ponderings — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Dawn @ 11:56 am

Zac Brown’s “Toes in the Sand” ran through my head in a slightly distorted version as I sat in my backyard in the hot sun. “I got my toes in Harley’s nostrils, butt in a chair…” Yes, Harley found a new toy that day and once he thoroughly examined my toes and the chair they rested on, we both settled in for an afternoon siesta. The shadow cast by Harley’s head blocked the sun’s rays from my eyes and a droopy horse lip six inches from my forehead was my view. The gentle relaxed breathing of my favorite Spanish Mustang tickled my face as we enjoyed a special afternoon of bonding. Yes Zac, I agree – Life is good today!

The morning started with briefly checking on the horses. Harley was standing in his usual corner and received his usual scratch. Spotting mud on the bottom rail of the fence, I made a mental note to talk to my son about where he had been scraping his boots. Soon the grass was flying as I mowed and made more mental notes of what job I needed to tackle next. As the mower strew clippings into the pasture, the horses gathered to taste the tender morsels. Harley, near the fence, moved quickly away when the mower passed and it was then my heart started pounding. Harley was lame.

A nail in his frog was the probable reason behind the mud on the rail as my young colt tried to scrape the offending metal out of his hoof. Visions of an abscess tormented me as I soaked his hoof clean and made a few phone calls to the vet and farrier. Harley and I bit the bullet and pulled the nail, paying special attention to how deeply it was embedded and in what direction. Luckily Harley was a champ and never flinched as I pulled the thorn out of the lion’s paw. After additional soaking, dressing and wrapping – I turned the new vet wrap and duct tape king loose in the yard to graze where his feet would remain relatively clean. However, Harley being Harley, soon discovered the cornfield. After several trips to retrieve my errant little boy, I gave myself permission to take a break from the stressful day and sit in the sunshine…and keep a closer eye on my mischievous colt.

Surprisingly at that point, Harley decided I was much more interesting than corn or grass and came to visit. First the chair my feet rested upon was examined, tasted and knocked over. Then the real fun began as he discovered my bare feet. My big toes were inhaled and shoved up each nostril as far as they could go. My feet were licked and nuzzled to the point I was beginning to worry that my little horse had an obsession. He also decided toes were just like fingers as he offered his jaw for a scratch.

Finally relieved of his curiosity of something he had never seen outside cowboy boots, Harley placed himself by my head. After inhaling my breath – now slow and calm, he cocked a hip and fell asleep – shading my face with his beautiful head and drooping lip. There we sat, dozing in the sunshine with Harley standing guard over me as if I were a member of his herd. Before long, he also felt safe and lay down next to my chair like a good horse/dog for a nap.

What Harley and I shared under that hot summer sun – from his total trust in me to relieve his pain to the my trust in him not to eat my toes and the best nap time we have ever had – was a special occasion for us both. The bonding between us was etched in stone and gave just a hint of what will come as we eagerly hit the trails together.

Harley and I rewrote Zac Brown’s hit that day to “I got my toes in the stirrups, faithful Harley beneath. Not a worry in the world, many trails to see. Life is good today. Life is good today.

March 27, 2010

Cowgirls and the Boots They Wear

Filed under: All My Posts,Family and Friends,Horse Talk,Humorous Ponderings — Tags: , , , , , , , — Dawn @ 2:20 pm

One day, while idling away a long evening on Twitter and simultaneously shopping for boots I made a simple comment “I do not need another pair of boots.” Instantly, all cowgirls worldwide perked their ears and thronged to my internet doorway. Soon, mere strangers became friends, all of a bootaholic nature. Sharing our favorite brands along where to get the best buy on boots and generally joking and enabling all fellow bootaholics along a leather-soled path. Cowgirl friend Laurie and I rounded up the herd and formed a page on Facebook where we could post pictures and stories. Where there was once one lonely cowgirl on a dark winter evening – there are now over 530 friends and the numbers grow daily.

Upon this page, we ooh and ah over photos of each other’s “bootage,” share music and poetry and stories of where our boots have taken us and the friends and horses that share our lives. We’re self professed enablers in all our glory of the next boot purchase. It has been said, “One never has too many boots.” (A statement which is quickly followed by “Look at the new boots I just bought!”) Whether it’s fulfilling needs of the soul or needs of the SOLE, we should have bought stock in boot companies as sales have made an astounding jump in the past few weeks!

Some cowgals shyly post only one pair of boots while others ‘come out of the closet’ and proudly lines up all the boots she owns to fill the picture frame. Artistically minded cowgirls seek new ways of photographing leather-clad feet – some adorned with blingy spurs and some inside stirrups, cute puppies sleeping inside boots, on hay bales, under horse noses and alongside their equine partner’s hooves. Red boots under a white wedding dress received rave reviews and vintage boots were awed over.

This goes to prove that cowgirls are our allies. They are born of a special group – a sisterhood united by their common love of the horse and all of the paraphernalia that comes along with it. Cowgirls are proud, supportive, independent and self sufficient. Cowgirls are strong of heart, soul, body and mind. Cowgirls will back each other up in time of need and hold each other when they fall. They will laugh with you and at you when you do stupid things (in the nicest possible way of course!). They will cry with you and make you laugh when all you really want to do is cry. And should you want to buy a new horse or a new pair of boots, they will throng to your door and cheer you along the way.

Hold up your boots and toast them with pride – whether they are classy dancing boots or mucky barn boots because no matter what brand or condition – they serve us well on our journey of life! Join our little group on Facebook called “Cowgirls and the Boots They Wear” and follow our Boot Adventure. And hopefully at some time in the near future, we’ll all meet under a glorious sunset to sing and dance and share our tales of the boots we wear and the journeys on which they have taken us.

March 1, 2010

Snowshoeing 101

Filed under: All My Posts,Farm Life,Humorous Ponderings — Tags: , , , , , , — Dawn @ 11:34 pm

Spring fever hit me early this year but I wasn’t the only one who fell prey to this disease. A robin dared show his beak in my yard the last day of February…when the snow was still up to 3 feet deep in the shelterbelts and fields. I’m sure he was wondering what he was doing in North Dakota along with the rest of us!

It was on this day I gave into winter once again and strapped on my snowshoes. Last year was my first experience at this “feat” of strapping huge clown shoes onto your feet, and a clown miraculously appeared in the form of Dawn, who had no clue as to how to get around on the darn things. Too proud to ask questions and too dumb to research the process on-line, I set out with grim determination on my shoulders. My first trek should have been followed by a film crew as I would have surely won the big prize in American’s Funniest Home Videos.

On this first endeavor I quickly learned a lot of Do’s and Don’ts. The first being: Do use ski poles for balance or wear long gloves. Balance has always been an issue and I quickly found out that wearing snowshoes put my balance to an extreme test. I happily trekked off behind my house through the deep snow until I took one brief misstep. Milliseconds later, I found myself armpit deep on my side floundering in the snow. Arising from my tomb was an entirely new and interesting maneuver but soon I was on my way again shaking snow out of my sleeves.

Stubborn determination and eternal optimism lead me to my next blunder. Don’t try to walk down a steep hill on your first walk or you will soon be “snowshoeskiing” at a rapid rate. Also, don’t forget to wear bib snowpants or as you are sliding on your butt downhill you will find snow in regions meant for much warmer hospitable treatment!

No one was watching this sideshow so I shook out the snowballs and stubbornly continued along my way…leading me to another don’t! Never, ever try to follow a deer trail through a cattail patch. Deer are much narrower in body and foot path than humans with huge boards strapped to their feet and at some point you are going to tangle said snowshoes in cattails and end upside down once again. No one told me the snow and cattails could be so deep right off the path. Nor did anyone tell me that it is nearly impossible to get yourself back upright when your feet are still way up there on the deer path and your body way down there deep in a soft bed of snowy fuzz.

Feeling much like a turtle stuck on its back with my feet the only part of my body still high upon the deer trail, I grabbed at the cattails to pull myself back up. This only produced clouds of fuzz rising high in the air much like the smoke signal I needed to send out for help. The thought of being found in this position in the spring along with the words “I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” sent me into hysterical laughter which was quickly choked off by the cloud of cattail fuzz raining down and entering my nostrils and lungs. After much huffing and hacking and sneezing and grunting, I finally emerged more or less intact (except for my dignity) and sporting a snazzy new coat of white.

Of course, what goes down must come back up and I quickly learned what the term “uphill battle” means along with don’t grab onto branches to pull yourself uphill unless you first check to see if they are alive. Dead branches easily break and are only useful for stabbing the offending snow and hillsides with frustration. Switchbacks quickly became my friend that day!

A sucker for punishment, I have since made many treks out onto the frozen tundra with webbed boards strapped to my feet. I’ve even come to enjoy this fine sport which takes me where no horse can go in the wintertime. Ski poles now balance me and smaller snowshoes better suited for brush and cattails and equipped with crampon-type claws for better traction up and downhill adorn my feet. My camera is now my companion and most of the time, I keep it safe from plunges into the deep snow. I capture flashes of red and gold as pheasants flush and deer as they snort and stomp, then run at my intrusion into their winter wonderland leaving behind gleaming white antlers shed in preparation for the spring to come.

December 1, 2009

Weathering the Storms

Filed under: All My Posts,Family and Friends,Farm Life,Horse Talk,Humorous Ponderings,On the Serious Side — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Dawn @ 2:27 pm

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all! It’s amazing how fast the past year has gone. It was a year filled with many ups and downs for family and friends, but crisis and hardships were offset by extremely spectacular moments meant to be remembered and cherished for years to come.

I’ve made many good friends this year through the “new fangled” way of meeting and greeting people – Facebook and Twitter. One such friend met through Facebook but never in person is Mark Madsen, who just posted a very reflective statement, “Did you ever watch horses in a bad snow storm?? They turn their butt to the wind and snow and let it blow. When the storm is over they just shake off the snow and go back to eating grass. Hmm, sometimes you need to just shake it off and go on with living.” This is excellent advice for all of us from someone who has been through his share of storms. Mark has worked hard at shaking off that snow through the one avenue which works so well – by using the healing power of horses.

Storms can come in so many varieties – from a gentle cleansing rainstorm to an all-out raging blizzard, tornado or hurricane – but they never last forever. Farmers and ranchers have to deal daily with weather delays and worries – especially this past year with record cold, wet and now a delayed harvest. As of Dec. 1 as I’m writing this column, our corn is still standing in the field while we wait for the moisture levels to lower. This in itself creates a storm of itself of worry and stress – unharvested crop does not pay the bills. Do we let the storm creep under our hides or do we just turn our backs to it and wait for it to pass so we can shake off the worry and prepare for a new year?

Harley and I had a storm the other day…which sure surprised the heck out of me! But his training has been hit and miss between the weather and farm work so I probably had it coming. We quickly went from an eager walk to an “oh crap – what’s this all about” as we bounced our way towards my new rail fence. Not liking the thought of a fence post landing, I opted for the “Let Go and Let God” strategy and met with Mother Earth. This was followed with a Come to Jesus Meeting as we settled our differences first from the ground and once again upon his back. The day ended on a better note although we both were still a little hot under the collar. Time management issues with Thanksgiving and work once again prevailed to the point of Harley being ignored basically for a week until yesterday when I once again spent some time with my little gelding. By then, the storm had passed and we both shook the snow off of our backs as we enjoyed each other’s company.

Life throws a snowball at you on occasion – do you throw it back with a vengeance or do you turn tail to the wind and wait until the storm passes so you can shake that snow off your back and go on living? Fighting the storms normally makes matters worse but sometimes waiting the storm out can be hard for those of us lacking patience. One of my favorite quotes by an unknown author gives you another option, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass – It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Find the Joy, Live the Joy, Be the Joy! And as always, look Into the Sunset for a brand new day.

MyBoys

October 13, 2009

Living in the Moment

Filed under: All My Posts,Farm Life,Horse Talk,On the Serious Side — Tags: , , , , , , — Dawn @ 3:31 pm

Living in the moment. Within the coolness of the fall day, the silence broken by the whisper of the wind in the pines high above and a warning cry of the blue jay from its evergreen branches. I walked on, closely followed by the blue roan – his nose lightly touching my shoulder. Warm breath and whiskers tickling my cheek halts my wanderings as I stop to scratch the friendly colt. White hairs sift down to the ground, much like the approaching snowflakes of winter.

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It was the robustly colored pheasants that drew me from the warmth of the house – two roosters squabbling over the territorial rights of my back yard. The shy creatures fled at my approach, resounding squawks protesting my intrusion. I was drawn to the hills of the pasture and the horses within. The chestnut’s legs reached for the sky as he rolled in an effort to dry the rain from his hide – his shaggy and now muddy coat betraying the sleek summer sheen of days past.

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The blue roan, started by the commotion, left my side to the hill above, highlighted by a brief ray of sunshine against the deep green of the pines. The clicks of my camera shutter the only unnatural sound amidst the drone of the crickets in the grass.

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It became a game between the blue roan and I, as he ran from hillside to corral and then back to me. My camera captured the moments of his romp – his glee refusing to be dampened by the cloudy day. His mottled coat a blur of motion as he bucked and kicked with the enthusiasm of the young; settling to a walk as he respectfully approached me for another scratch. At my urging, he exits for another run, up hill and down – mud, mane and tail flying in the breeze generated by his thundering hooves, echoing in the quiet of the approaching shower.

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The older geldings waited patiently in the muddy corral, unaffected by the zeal of the blue roan colt named Harley until he too, waited patiently by the fence for his snack of crab apples. Hastened by another approaching rain shower, I gathered the crisp red windfalls and fed the boys their treats. Soon smacking lips and the fresh scent of apple mingled with the gentle cleansing drops falling from the sky. The drops became larger – silencing the crickets with their damp. Wanting to linger with warm horse breath upon my fingers and rain damp upon my hair, the earthy scent of smoke emitting from the chimney reluctantly drew me back to the warmth and crackle of the wood fire within. Living in the moment – treasured for years to come.
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May 23, 2009

Giving Thanks

Filed under: All My Posts,Family and Friends,Horse Talk,On the Serious Side — Tags: , , , , , , — Dawn @ 10:52 pm

A double rainbow exploded with vibrant prismatic colors upon dark indigo rain clouds. In the glow of the setting sun, trees and grass lush with spring growth enhanced the pallet of colors with their soft pale and deepening greens. A crab apple tree’s pure white blossoms with its sweet spicy scent mingled with the aroma of fresh rainfall enriching my senses so long deprived by a cold winter.

It seems I have never seen such a splendid springtime in my life. Is it so beautiful and lush because of the excessive moisture of the previous fall and spring? Or is this spring so much more precious because of the harsh weather conditions and the turmoil faced in the past 9 months? One thing I do know for certain, this spring I have thanked God for each and every sunny day and every gale force wind that helped dry the soil. Thanks are given for the freshly planted fields of corn soon to sprout in the fertile earth, dark with recent tillage and smelling of rich intoxicating earth scent.

I also thank God daily for my family and friends – near and far, you are all angels bearing faith, healing, hope and laughter. I am eternally grateful to all of you and want to thank you for bearing with me during my time of loss. Your words of sympathy from so many corners of the world strengthened me and helped ease my troubled soul.

After the loss of Al, I mourned deeply…so deep I was not sure if it would end. I let my tears flow freely but I also pushed myself to ride and work with my other horses, knowing full well their strength would help me heal. Now I find myself feeling hopeful anticipation, excitement and a profound thankfulness for all that is about me. Al is still performing his miracles from above.

I feel a deeper sense of appreciation for each day, each flower, and each blade of grass that turns green with the warming sun. The noisy chatter of the birds and contrasting silence of the horses as I stand with them scratching their itches fills my ears. Horses have a silent language which speaks loudly of their desires and feelings. The pleasure of just the right spot being scratched shown by an outstretched head and quivering lip to the evil eye of Harley as he begrudgingly lets me rub suntan lotion onto his pink sunburned nose. I laugh at his glare and he forgives me when I apologize with a hug and a scratch.

Today, I found the strength to read my words written shortly after Al’s death and once again the tears flowed freely. Words my son said a few years ago came to mind. We had just had to put JD down, out first horse we had owned for 23 years. That day, I questioned why I have animals as I become so attached and the loss is so hard on me. Kyle remarked kindly, “Mom, that is what makes you the person you are.” Yes the loss is hard, but all the years of love, care and kindness makes me whole…it makes me ME.

I am a firm believer that people such as all of you (and my animals) enter your life for a reason…. you are God-sent angels who supported me and carried me during my time of need. I am back on the right path and being guided by the hand of God towards an unknown destination – one which I go to freely and eagerly. So many wonderful things await me and time is precious. There is much to do.
dawn-small-me

May 1, 2009

My Soulmate – Al

Filed under: All My Posts,Horse Talk,On the Serious Side — Tags: , , , , , , — Dawn @ 10:31 am

My brother, Doug, bless his heart, reminded me this morning of a column I wrote the past winter about choices. I had stated ‘no matter where you are at in your life, there are always choices to be made.’ At that time, one of the choices I had to make was finding a replacement for my soulmate Al, as he would be turning 21 and I knew unless I found that fountain of youth, I would need a special horse to take his place.

Joy followed with the choice of Harley, my biker dude horse, named for Doug who thought I should get a motorcycle instead of ‘those smelly horses.’ The herd was made whole with the introduction of Harley and he along with Al and my other horses, brightened my days during a harsh winter and stress of a sick father. Harley and Al became close friends and it was soon rare that you would see the two separated. Al worked hard at teaching “that young whippersnapper” the ropes which included jail breaking and playing the various games Al taught all newcomers.

Al was a teacher. He loved children and taught them how to ride. He taught them and me how to trust and believe in yourself. He taught me to sit back and enjoy the ride. On so many occasions, he was my healer as he carried me through tough situations such as my battle with cancer. Purchased as a two-year old just before I was diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I took respite and solace in Al and my other horses those days. Riding and training when I was able gave me a purpose in life and something to think about other than doctor visits, chemotherapy and radiation. That fall, I postponed my final chemotherapy treatment so Al and I could ride in the badlands of North Dakota. The ruggedly beautiful landscape and the young horse that gently carried my frail body helped heal my soul and gave me strength to continue on. Each year since, Al and I made our pilgrimage back to the badlands, thankful for our health and secure with the bond between two friends at heart, equine and human. Al has carried me through many good days and bad.

Al knew when I needed a hug and also sensed when I needed the release of a good hard ride. I often took Al out for “therapy” rides. Just this past fall when my father was undergoing his own battle with cancer, my dear friend Kerry reminded me that I needed Al. She said, “It is God putting His hand to our shoulder and saying, “Easy, Easy, Easy….” Heeding her advice I took Al out for a long ride that day and through the Power of God and the healing power of the horse I so dearly loved, I found the strength to carry on.

A week ago on the first hot spring day, my buddy Al looked at me from over the gate, his eyes saying ‘Lets go for a ride.’ As we rode along, I thought, ‘this just feels so right. We fit each other like a glove, Al and I,’ little did I know that this would be our last ride. A week later, the morning sun shined gloriously on the horses in the pasture, so welcome after the previous day’s rain. It was Harley that alerted us to Al’s plight, laying on the ground. Colic is a horrible thing, something Al had never known. We spent the day at the clinic doing what we could in hopes Al would pull through but all too soon I would have to make the choice to end my soulmate’s life. Choices are not easy but even the hard choices must be made to help ease the pain of those you love.

It will take time to ease my pain but I know Al approved of who would be taking his place. Harley will have some mighty big shoes to fill but with time, I know that he will do it well, guided by his mentor from above. I will use the healing power of my horses to find strength and heal my soul, a piece of me gone forever, the remaining enriched by memories of the love he shared. I will find joy

Al is now running with the angels in the badlands we both loved so dearly, tracking the deer and elk and finding the perfect way home. In time, I will place a wreath of his hair in our sacred place and say a prayer of Thanksgiving for the wonderful times we shared together. Not lost, never forgotten – and when my time comes, Al will be waiting at Heaven’s Gate for endless rides Into the Sunset.

Buffalo Al – May 19, 1988 – April 30, 2009
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February 14, 2009

Simple Pleasures

Filed under: All My Posts,Family and Friends,Horse Talk,On the Serious Side — Tags: , , , , — Dawn @ 10:49 pm

Simple pleasures in life. What makes you happy? Is it an evening spent in the barn listening to the contented munching of hay by your horse? The warmth of the cat’s soft fur as it is curled up on your lap purring. Is the wag of the tail and joy on your dog’s face as he runs up to greet you enough to make you smile for a few hours?

Getting back to the basics of life and shedding material things can be an enlightening moment. Time stands still as you stand by your horse and bury your face in his mane. Silence and peace reigns as you watch the hawk float overhead in search of his prey.

Happiness can be found in every nook and cranny of this crazy world. Just try watching the joy on a child’s face as he takes his first solo ride on “his horse”. Confidence builds as he loosens his grip on the saddle horn and reaches forward to pet him on the neck. We can learn a lot from children. The simple joy of soaring high on a swing and pretending you are flying. Screaming when the frustration gets too overwhelming and yes, even throwing an occasional temper tantrum can help to let that pent up steam off.

We, as adults, need to let go of the tight grip we have on life and learn to go back to the simple pleasures of life. Life will go on, the world will not stop if we just take a few moments to enjoy ourselves. Enjoy the satisfaction of your horse performing his best, taking care of you in bad trail conditions and showing you what he has learned. My friend, Kerry, related her feelings of riding Cody in team penning competitions and trail riding and how he did so good and how she feels when she rides him. The joy and admiration in her voice showed me the reason we have horses. To slow down, enlighten our lives and feel the satisfaction garnered when your horse responds to your faintest of cues.

Your horse is a master at enjoying the simple pleasures in life. The twitching of his lip when you scratch “the spot.” Nuzzling his pasture buddy in the warm sunshine or kicking up his heels and going for a buck and run just because it’s Tuesday. Their eyes tell of their satisfaction as they take that long drink of fresh cold water and then go roll in the dirt after a hard ride. After a day on the trail, my horse will plant his nostril upon my face and inhale as if saying, “Wow, can you believe what we just did? That was a blast!”

Simple pleasures heal the soul, calm the mind and sooth the spirit of the tired. Scents of freshly mown hay, flowers, leather and of course, horses refresh the staleness of life. The bowing of your head as you join in prayer with family and friends, thanking God for all he has done.

Open your mind to the simple pleasures of life and allow yourself to enjoy them as you once did when you were a young child. Let the laughter bubble out as you joke with friends, scream, dance and let go of that saddle horn to allow yourself to embrace life and enjoy it to the fullest. Simple pleasures – What makes you happy?

February 6, 2009

My Journey through Cancer

Filed under: All My Posts,Family and Friends,On the Serious Side,Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — Dawn @ 8:04 pm

I recently had an email, via the Twitter site, questioning me on my diagnosis and recovery from Stage IV cancer. I have always said that if I can help someone out from what I went through, it was all worth it. And this is exactly why I am sharing this story with all of you! The below text is my answer to this frightened gentleman from Hungary, just diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkins Lymphoma….A diagnosis I heard 18 years ago. Along with being happy to offer any support, prayer and advice I can to Norbert, I am amazed at how far and wide the internet reaches. I only wish I would have had the option of the internet when I was experiencing the very same thing.

My diagnosis was non-sclerosing asymptomatic Hodgkins Lymphoma, (stage IV as you know) My main tumor was mediastinal (under the breast bone) and very large…can’t remember the exact size but it was fist size so probably about 6 inches? I also had lymph node involvement in my neck..nothing below the diaphragm. Bone marrow was clear and as far as I know, no other organ involvement but they didn’t have the PET scan back then so its hard to say where exactly all of the tumors were. CT scans do not show everything and that is all I had. I was treated with 6 months (12 rounds, one every 2 weeks) of AVBD (Adriamycin, Vincristine, Bleomycin, Doxyrubicin – if my memory serves me right!) and then 6 weeks of radiation treatments. No treatments after this initial set, I responded very well.

What my oncologist said was if you are going to have cancer, this is the type you want to get. It is very treatable and curable even in Stage IV. In fact, my father just finished his treatments for Stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Non Hodgkins, at least 18-years ago, was termed less treatable than Hodgkins) and is now in remission…treatments have come so far in the past 18 years.

I had excellent Doctors (Thank you Dr. Harris!) who never gave me any doubt that I would not be cured. I was 30 years old at the time with a 4-yr. old boy so I had lots of reasons to live. I truly believe in and stress the power of positive thinking and prayer. Your body responds as you tell it to. An excellent book to read is which explains this principle is “Love, Medicine and Miracles” by Dr. Bernie Siegel. It speaks of visualization, and the power of positive thinking. I have given many of these books to friends that are diagnosed with cancer.

Going through treatments: Now this will sound strange but many visualize and pick their own scenario…My dad used “pac-men” from the old video games! I would visualize the chemo as being men with hand sprayers spraying my tumors with acid. I would picture the tumors getting smaller, smoking and burning away. This visualization works as I could “measure” my tumor in my minds eye and it would be exactly that when I went in for my xrays. Towards the end I had a hard time visualizing my tumor….because it was gone! Think Positive, visualize healthy tissue in place of the tumor. Visualize the tumor shrinking and then disappearing….it works!

I’m not going to lie. Chemotherapy and radiation will not be a picnic but with the anti-nausea medication they have now, its sure not bad! My Dad never had a day of nausea throughout his treatments. I just had a few days of it towards the end but they didn’t have the “good stuff” back then like they do now! You will feel tired, you will lose your hair. That is not the end of the world as mine grew back thicker and extremely curly… Its finally calming down now as the grey sets in. You will have “chemo-brain” so don’t make any big decisions throughout this time….you may not remember them! There is alot from that time in my life that people tell me about and I don’t remember…now I just have senilty to claim as an excuse for forgetting things!

The hard part is right now. Not knowing what you are going to be facing as far as treatments and how you will tolerate these treatments is what is hard. Waiting for the tests to come back is hard. But once you can start DOING something, start your treatments and the way back to the healthy side of life, then it will become so much easier. Someone else with Hodgkins’ coached me a bit when I was first diagnosed said, “You will not believe how wonderful life is and how much better you feel when you get through this. You don’t realize how bad you were feeling until you start feeling better again.” My father backs up this statement 100%, he didn’t realize just how sick he was until he started feeling better.

The Power of Prayer: I have always felt this was my major turning point in my beating cancer…When you have your first treatment, they will probably hospitalize you for the first night. This is because from the first treatment, the tumor breaks up so fast, it could clog up your kidneys etc so they have to make sure you stay well hydrated (along with no severe side effects from the chemo) and keep the tumor cells flushed out out your system (through IV fluids). I was hospitalized that first night and I was scared. My old pastor (Thank you Pastor George Dahl!!) who had confirmed me many years before stopped in to visit. This was thankfully when the list of names on the hospital roster was open to clergy as he was with a different church than I belonged. We visited about the people from home, family and friends and then he asked if I wanted him to say a prayer….I agreed and he took my hand and started praying. I, being scared and emotional, cried but for the first time in my life really and truly and deeply opened my mind and heart to God. During the prayer, I felt a jolt pass through his hand into mine and up my arm…almost an electrical shock. From that point on, I never doubted that I would be cured. My main tumor after that first treatment was reduced in size by 50%, the Drs. were amazed!

The Healing Power of Laughter: My father claims fame to this treatment for cancer. A truly inspiring man with a gift for laughter, jokes, teasing and finding humor in almost anything; we laughed our way through his treatments and became closer and stronger as a family. I’m sure more than a few eyebrows were raised outside his infusion room on more than one occassion from the peals of laughter that escaped…we didn’t care! I have fond memories of our time spent in that little room and am so proud of the way he handled the cancer experience. Dad’s positive attitude rang through with the laughter we shared during a troubling time. “Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox

All in all….cancer is NOT the death sentence it used to be. Today, I know ALOT of Stage IV survivors of many different types of cancer, including Hodgkins. In fact, we have a “club”…unorganized and just joked about but its there and we are all alive and well!

Cancer is a life changing experience. My father now is a believer. It is a hard time but it changes your life, it teaches you what is important in life…not the material things but the little things like a sunrise, a sunset, a bird, a baby colt, a flower, and more importantly the hug of a friend. It teaches you who your true friends are – some people do not have the fortitude to stay with you through this experience…let them go as they are not worth hanging onto. Angels in the form of people you barely know will appear magically out of the woodwork and help you along the path and I hope that I am one of them. Cancer is just a mere roadbump in the journey of life…be brave and follow it and you will be amazed at where it will lead you. Keep your faith, friends and family close and most of all…”Never underestimate the power of positive thinking and prayer!” You are young and strong and you will make it through these hard times…and I promise you, you will not believe how wonderful life is when you start feeling better!

Join me, everyone, in a prayer for healing for all those undergoing the frightening times of cancer or any other life threatening illness, surgery or injury. And don’t forget to thank God for the little things in life that matter. Take care and God bless!

January 23, 2009

Equine Therapy

Filed under: All My Posts,Family and Friends,Horse Talk — Tags: , , — Dawn @ 9:28 pm

( This is another of my Into the Sunset columns which was written in late August/ Early Sept. 2008)

 

 

I was on my way to pick sweet corn to freeze; on a mission with so many projects to do and being behind more than normal. That is, until the horses nickered at me from the corral. I listened to the little voice which told me to seize the moment. My old horse Al, forever wise to my moods, stuck his nose in the halter and followed me out the gate.

 

My equally wise friend, Kerry, had just advised me the night before, “What you need to do is stop thinking of your riding right now as a reward and put it into the “therapy” category.  You need that time on the back of a horse to settle what is going on all around you and it will put things into perspective for you.  Riding is the best at calming us and making the world so much easier to deal with.  It is God putting his hand to our shoulder and saying “Easy, Easy, Easy…  Put off the things which are pressing on your mind and go breathe easier on the back of a horse for just a few minutes.  Take Al if it will help you relax better. You NEED this.”

 

Heeding her advice, I saddled up Al and we went for a ride. We walked and trotted and loped, the wind in our hair and sun upon our backs. I talked and he listened, I prayed and He listened, I cried and the thick mane of my horse caught my tears. While I didn’t find answers, I was grounded by my horse’s four feet in the rich earth and tall waving prairie grasses and found peace and a respite for a few moments from all that was troubling me.

 

Strengthened and calmed by the Power of God and the healing power of the horse, I returned to my job of freezing sweet corn, relishing each luscious tasty morsel cut and bagged for the coming winter. I later tackled other projects postponed the past weekend by a new world of doctors and hospitals – my father with inoperable cancer – to await the final diagnosis and treatment plan.  I will often return to the therapy of my horse and let it heal me and guide me through the coming months as God puts that hand to my shoulder and says Easy, Easy, Easy….

 

Dad is a strong man with a powerful sense of humor; in spite of the turmoil, we laughed often this past weekend and enjoyed the company of family and friends. I’d like to ask all of you to take a moment to pray for my father and all others who are going through a crisis in their lives. At the same time, give thanks to God for the magnificent animal He has given us, the horse which so easily understands our problems and shares their healing powers.

 

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